2006: A Space Odyssey

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 16:59:58 GMT

I was almost late. Almost. But I flew out the door and across the county knowing very well that being late for the big reunion would seal my fate as the "unreliable girlfriend" and I didn't want that.

So I walk in all sly just in time to see him set his bags down and bend down to tie his shoes, looking for me at another door. He sees me and it's instant relief.

Haha, he wants to make sure I lift my foot when I'm kissing him.

He looked different than I remember. Three weeks will do a lot to people. For example: I'm not so sure I care as much as I thought I did. Maybe because I met someone else or maybe because I can look at him differently now. He's probably deathly afraid I'll want some kind of commitment or even worse for a bachelor of his candor, babies. But I know I could never of my own accord. Some people are forever meant to be "Aunt" or "Uncle" so-and-so, unable to find a guest to bring to dinner parties. That's me.

Dragged our tired bones out of bed for the sportsbar ritual of the World Cup, where we sat with a table full of Germans. I ran into an old friend, as always. The group at the end of the table were for Italy, because of course, their Italian friends were sure to throw better parties than the Germans. We shared Indian cigarettes while I quietly read the paper.

There was a full rainbow over Florence, Texas as we were on our way to the Ranch to see family. Momalou baked him one of her famous pecan pies. We popped off the rest of the fireworks from last year.

And this morning it's back to routine. I don't want to sleep in his bed until noon and wait for him to return for lunch anymore, so I left.

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 04:01:06 GMT

"There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer..."

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 08:48:29 GMT

"The little boat sailed across the water exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 22:16:51 GMT

I got a lovely little postcard in the mail today just reminding me that there is a warrant out for my arrest. How sweet.

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 04:50:36 GMT

multipass.

Wed, 24 May 2006 16:41:57 GMT

Dinner at the Shoreline on the balcony. The bats were just whizzing by perfectly.

Wed, 24 May 2006 16:16:23 GMT

I told you once that I was greedy and you agreed with some measure of disappointment. I can tell now that you will always have to be content with what you have. Not me, but it doesn't mean I will never be content.

And I'm not greedy in the sense of grabbing hands, I love to give to my friends and family and strangers on the street.

But I owe my success entirely to my desire for success. If you believe in God, he only gives you what you ask for and never, never more.

So keep asking for more! This is what life is about!

I want investments and canary diamonds and to be able to fly to Amsterdam for crepes on a whim if I want.

This is one of the many reasons you still disgust me.

Tue, 16 May 2006 21:35:17 GMT

Exhausto.

Oh, I pine for the downtown days.

Amazing how fast connections fray in that scene when you're not there to constantly lubricate them with cash.

Well, maybe not pining then.

Thu, 27 Apr 2006 23:48:07 GMT

"I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else."

-Marilyn Monroe

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 16:26:40 GMT

If our lives were put together on a ven diagram, the part where they overlap would be exceptionally small.

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:51:45 GMT

I don't know whether to strangle him or make him a sandwich.

At the Sharp family Cemetery, Granny B's funeral.

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 21:01:31 GMT

yup. Definitely a Texas girl at heart. Always will be. Give me dry, flat landscape and chicken-fried steak anyday. Courteous drivers and oversized trucks.

We were driving home and I saw a sign for parking on 6th Street. 3$, all day. I will never again bitch about downtown parking when it can cost you as much as 50$ to park in a garage for a day in SF. Hell no.

But it was fine. It was nice to just throw away money and forget about it. Cabs, food, latex, leather, latex, latex, parking, latex, clubs, leather. I threw out $4000 in the end, but it was well worth it.

Anyone who loves Austin will love San Fran. It's like this on a larger scale, with homes built up the sides of massives hills, smushed together. San Francisco has the largest population density in the United States. It shows, too.

I've gotta do some serious work this week to make up for the dent in my checkbook. But the Hollywood Crowd is in town from Santa Monica and I suppose I'll do some entertaining there first.

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 20:45:12 GMT

The Amazing San Francisco!

Chinatown.

Dr. Seuss exhibit!

I know where my next move is going to take me now. I estimate two to three years - As soon as I've conquered Texas.

"Oh, what a lovely way to burn..."

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 10:42:18 GMT

Before today I have never heard a pick-up line with the words "Kevin Costner" in it.

Suppose he thought I'd take him seriously.

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 00:01:07 GMT

...About the man who had gotten high on methaphetamine, and when his wife walked into the room to see how he was doing, said "I love you...can't you see that I love you?" and plucked out her eye.

saddest, dumbest thing.

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 17:30:05 GMT

Cognitive Dissonance.

Remember, we were going somewhere one day and you were telling a story about some sad people, and said "How, if you love someone, can it get to the point where you don't want to speak to them ever again?" We didn't understand it then.

I suppose now you do. But don't give your closure to me - I'm not the one who needs it.

I wish you well.

Fin

Sun, 08 Jan 2006 04:35:51 GMT

I'm giving away all of my things and joining a commune for the purpose of learning the true meaning of selflessness.

Tschaio. See you in a year.

Martin Landau, Room 936

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 02:27:03 GMT

There used to be a lot of negativity in my life, but since I moved here that's all gone. Everyone is friendly. Everything is open.

Shopping for groceries at central market today, I began hallucinating and falling over. Made it to my car and scrolled down my huge phone book for someone who could/would stop what they were doing and take me home as I didn't think I could drive. I fell asleep shivering in my car because of all those people....no.

In the end it was Wallace who backed up to the wall he was so afraid of catching what I had. Wallace is my one-time car dealer. Fished his card out of my bag and he just happened to be in the area.

So everyone is getting ready for their parties, my neighbor's guests keep stomping by making all kinds of noise. I was invited to several events with people I've come to know quite well. But none of them are of any consequence and none of them would care for me in a situation like today. So I'm staying home watching Twilight Zone, caring for myself.

Franz made me swear that I would rely on him for these things once, and we were in bed laughing. Ms. Foot-in-mouth that I am, I said "Wow. My real friends wouldn't even do that." He looked hurt, to say the least and I knew I could count on him, but I don't have the heart to do so. I learned from previous experience that statements of that quality are only a formality and never, ever a reality. Especially from the ones you love.

This isn't feeling sorry for myself, I'm just amazed.

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 11:16:36 GMT

Allow me to re-re-iterate what a small town Austin really is...later.

It was an incredible, impromptu evening. The band was good. Everyone made nice.

Cabs, clubs, cards, what have you. I adore it.

What ever happened to Grace Jones?!

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 01:04:02 GMT

I have an honest allergic reaction to Franz. All he has to do is sprechen some Deutsch and I'm down. Sick in bed again.

The first thing I asked him when we met was "Is Duran Duran still big in Europe?" The answer was an emphatic NO, but they had a brief comeback a few years ago...

note to self: [Zaius Sigfrøðr]

caring is creepy

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 17:40:31 GMT

There is a gigantic jar of pickled okra in the refrigerizer - the looming christmas gift.

Galacticat stole my skittles.

ground control to...?

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 08:06:12 GMT

Allow me to re-iterate. Austin is a very small world.

Through a woman I met tonight through a man I met through a woman I met through a friend I met on the internet, I found out I was ixnayed by my intimate lady-friend [playboy bunny] on her tales of our celebrity adventures. Ah, well.

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 21:48:30 GMT

Between friends and family I was given several calendars over christmas. And I can take a hint, but it's not going to work.

Robert offered to lend me his spare apartment in Amsterdam early fall. I'm especially excited about that, but I need a girlfriend to come with me. Volunteers?

2006 is going to be amazing.

Re-discovering Madonna

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 21:20:50 GMT

He begged to read to me and when I agreed, picked me up, Rilke in hand.

Fell asleep that way. [I have strange friends with strange requests.] The boss' cat kept my chest warm.

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Proof that PeeWee Herman is Gangsta

Does anyone know where I can find that song?!

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On a note, Austin is such a small world. I love it.

dogs and cats living together

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 08:43:38 GMT

It's a wonderful life.